Being belayed by my knight in shining cow onesie on the pumpiest 5.10d in the whole wide world. And I didn’t have to take at every bolt this time!
But ya I made it back up to rumney this season finally thank GOD. It was a blast even though it was not neeeaarrly enough time. And yall i dont wanna brag but im like feelin *stronk* hehe or maybe its just because i have all my tendons this time around idk but either way we did some GUD! CLIMB!
And watched some gud cloimb too! she was crushing predator!
Trip highlights include GORGEOUS gorgeous foliage, sendyyyyy temps, and good ole climb club bonding. I retroflashed know ethics, onsighted millenium falcon, made it to the top of buried treasure, got a high point on lions tigers and bears, and finally hopped on the second pitch of tropicana (which was stellar! exciting funky exposed!) and generally just had a great time with the columbia climbing club. I probably won’t make it back up this season unless there’s a mad warm weekend in november, but if I only get one rumney trip this season I’m glad it was that one :)))
05:00AM – an orchestra of alarms rings throughout our airbnb as Raf, Lia, and I roll out of bed. I feel bad for the other people there who aren’t joining us, but then I remember I feel more bad for us and the sufferfest ahead. Raf makes us a giant thing of scrambled eggs while Lia and I load up the car with the gear we had set aside last night. Ropes, quickdraws, slings, lockers, shoes, harnesses, belay gear, water…. “Got everything we need?” “idk i hope so” and with that we were off !
06:00AM – We pull into the parking lot just in time for sunrise (first car there babyy), put our packs on, and start the hike. Winds come at us at somewhere between 27 and five zillion miles per hour, and forecasted to only get worse. Raf and Lia ask if we should turn back. I tell them they’re being big babies, even though deep down I am also a big baby and agree that it might be too cold to climb and too loud to hear each other on the wall. But whatever I want cloimb 😡 so we agree to at least commit to the hike and see what it’s like when we get to the base of the route.
oh deer!
honestly im not even sure if this is what we climbed but its basically there somewhere
08:00AM – 2 godforsaken hours of steep uphill hiking/trail finding later (thank god for cairns), we finally make it to the base of the climb. We’re pretty sure it is anyway – the guidebook told us to look for a pine tree marking the start. Like o great thx uhhhh except there are approximately five million pine trees around us??? But anyway we did it and the wind had died down and the sun was feelin nice, so we got ready to climb.
09:30AM – Lia leads the first pitch, Raf follows her, and I bring up the rear. I make the last-minute decision to go up without my jacket because “stoke will keep me warm” (spoiler: it did not). We meet at a hanging belay at the top of P1 and swing leads – I link pitches 2 and 3 and belay the others up to a nice ledge. Pretty chill, very flowy balancy moves that I felt super comfy on, so far so great!! This climb lives up to the hype.
spiky boi
more spiky bois
but the spikiest bios of all are the frens we make along the way :’)
12:00PM – We take a quick lunch break and engage in general shenanigans while we rest and get ready for the rest of the climb. Raf decides he’d rather not lead, which is music to my ears. I grab some draws and get after it. It starts with a juggy roof move, then two pitches of sweet sweet 10b slab.
12:10PM – I pass the P4 anchor and realize mid climb that I forgot my grigri at the belay ledge… But it’s cool it’s ok no prob no prob I had an atc so i guess we chillin
12:12PM – I pass a second anchor or rap station, but it’s way too close to be the P5 anchor so I decide it’s probably an extra rap station and decide to push on.
12:15PM – Still at it, good good moves on good good rock, except I don’t see an anchor and I’m starting to run low on draws hehehe delightful. Was the rap station I passed actually the anchor I was supposed to stop at? How many more bolts to the next anchor I dont see it yet why god why do i like this silly little sport. I count ten draws left on me, and I’m seeing at least ten more bolts above. Okay so I have to skip a bolt or two that’s fine. I skip the next bolt and clip the one after it – all good? plz?
12:16PM – I realize I also forgot the TR anchor on the belay ledge below so I need to save two draws to set up a TR. Okay.. Sooo I have to skip like three bolts fine whatever. I try to focus on climbing well and keep an eye out for easy sections to run out. Good thing I was comin up on the P5 crux :)))))))))))))))
Raf being an excellent third and belaying Lia up for me
Lia pulling the last few moves to the ledge
me about to leave all this gear behind bc im a silly little stupid boi
12:18PM – Keep climb. Keep seeing bolts. Keep not seeing anchor. I get spooked and ask Lia how much rope is left and ope whaddaya know I was past the halfway mark and no one yelled it out HAHA cool so I can’t lower back down to them ok the only way out is up I guesssss
12:19PM – what do what do what do count bolts count draws the numbers are lookin badd… But I try to pull it together. Breathe, climb, skip, breathe, climb, clip. I’m seeing five more bolts above and then o lordy could it be yes i see it its the gawd damn anchor holy fucking shit thank fuckkkk!!! Ok five more bolts and I still have one two three draws…. And I need two for the top. FUCK. Well whatayagonnado I free solo run out the last four bolts and get to anchor without taking a thirty foot whipper omg omg omg omg thank you thank you thank you clip the anchor take plz take take TAAAAAKE !!!
12:20PM – I clip my PAS and sit in hanging belay and have a good cry.
12:30PM – Yeah I spent ten minutes crying what about it anyway the wind picks up and the sun dips and its freezing why did i leave my jacket like a stupid idiot. I belay raf up and he gives me a hug and that helps a little bit both to calm me down and keep me from freezing my butt off. We belay Lia up and she offers to lead the next pitch because im traumatized.
01:00PM – Lia sets up the belay at the top bless her our sweet sweet angel. Raf follows. I try to not think about how im getting hypothermia probably.
01:30PM – We all get to the ledge on top of pitch 6, and SWIFTLY decide pitch 7 is not in our future. We set up a rappell with no realllll idea of where we’re headed but like down is down right? Lia our fearless savior braves the way down.
“summit” pic
03:00PM – We all meet at the hanging rappel station, and we’re thinking we have two raps left to get to the ground. Raf starts pulling the rope, and the rope…. doesn’t move. And at this point I’m ready to call it a day and call in a chopper rescue. But we call our friends (the ones we woke up at 5am hehe) to ask for advice and moral support. And they confer and ask us if we tried pulling the rope hard and we’re like um yes we did in fact try pulling hard and then they were like pull really hard and we were like oookay but then guess what we pulled really hard and it CAME DOWN HAHAHAHAHA
05:00PM – Ground sweet ground o how i have missed youuuu I kiss the dirt and turn around to start packing everything only to find that squirrels chewed through our bags and ate all our food :))))))) whatevvvvvsssss we start the hike back
05:05PM – We immediately get lost and can no longer find the trail. We go try to hike down bc hey we wanna get down right? wrong there are so many spiky plants and everything you step on is loose. so we go up to try and see where the trail is but we can’t see anything. So we repeat that cycle again a couple more times then realize it’s gonna get dark soon and we keep going around in circles and so we are like ok lets just go the fuck down. so we do and we keep seeing these damn cairns and none of them are on any semblance of a trail so cairns are a fuckin scam.
we ❤ the ground
08:00PM – Lia falls on a cactus i accidentally kick one its about to get dark and we still have no idea where we’re going.
09:00PM – Headlamps ablaze Lia finally FINALLY sees the gd trail (damn Lia was such a damn mvp that day im gonna text her and thank her again for saving my life)
10:30PM – We finally make it back to the parking lot. We load up the car, and drive the fuck home.
11:00PM – Our angel hero friends who saved us from calling a heli rescue were already back at the airbnb and waiting for us with beer and tacos god bless their souls
I’ve always wanted to write about a climb and now that climbing szn is almost upon us I gotta get stoked to poop my pants crying on the greatest! climb! in! the! world! which also happens to be TERRIFYING and AWFUL god why is it so scary? I’ll tell you why:
Flying Hawaiian (mtp linked for more info) is the name of a climb at Rumney, it is a 5.11b which means very very hard for us mortals – and very very easy for all the hardos at Rumney. It is in fact the baby-est climb on the wall full of 5.12’s and up, which is excellent news because everyone there is always just there for the hard stuff and there’s never a wait for Flyin’, but it is also terrible news because while I am doin a cry in my slab corner there are people literally hanging upside down with nothing but their KNEES (ya you read that right) watching me implode in terror and laughing at me. So pros and cons. Now you may be wondering: “I’m not wondering anything just get to the point,” and that is a valid thing to wonder! However, you may also be wondering “wait Jad if this climb sucks why do you wanna do it?” Great question; it does suck but it is also ~b e a u t i f u l~ so I must do it because I love it even though I hate it. Cool? Cool. Now, the climb:
Flying Hawaiian can be divided into three parts: the boulder problem start, the dihedral roof middle, and finally the iconic death slab corner of terror (it is bad and I hate it so much but it is perfect and I love it). There’s also the STOOPID finish but that’s less important I just have strong feelings (of hate) about it.
Part 1: The Boulder Problem Start
bumping to the decent crimp, note the feet doing NOTHING
jugzzzz for dayzzzzz
Criiiiiiiimp city. But like slopey crimps? Everyone’s favorite. It took me more and my friend like 20min just to get off the ground. Doesn’t help that between the ground and the cliff is a huge drop-off, so its a lil stressful if you like your legs not broked. It’s kinda solid when dialed down though; the feet are grabáje with my shit technique, but they’re enough to get you up to a solid right hand crimp. Allegedly there is a way to also use the left hand on a pinch, but if you’re dumb like me you would just crimp dumb hard with your dumb left on a dumb bad hold instead (because, as we have established, dumb). Then ya bump the right hand to a bad crimp, ya bump it to a better crimp, then ya bump it to a jug, clip, and its jugz for dayz up to a ledge you can rest on. Dope! But not dope for long my friends, not dope for long…
Part 2: The Dihedral Roof
ignore the potato quality
I spent 40 minutes on this bad boy my first go, and I have no idea what the hell I ever do to get up it. Last time I punted like five times before a stronk climber yelled at me to “use da foot better” and then I did the exact same thing again but this time it worked. Classic. As you can see in the pictures above, the beta is who the fuck knows what even how. You go a lil horizontal. Hands get thrown, sometimes they land on holds. My left foot somehow always ends up in a heel-toe cam because every time I think “yo what if I…” and then every time I immediately try it only to realize “fuck fuck fuck how do I get my foot out I’m gonna break my ankle take take take… Ok ok got it… Hey watch me here I’m gonna be Trying Hard™ ok?” And then a biiiig reach over the protruded rock into the corner where the roof meets the big wall. In that bottom left picture of the grid, I’m about to reach into the corner. There’s a nice big crack in there that I can use to pull the roof and mantle onto the ledge. Dope Dope! But -deja vu- not dope dope for long my friends, not dope dope for long…
Part 3: The Iconic Death Slab Corner of Terror (It is Bad and I Hate It So Much but It is Perfect and I Love It)
about to start, likely sobbing
see that corner in the right? see how there are no real holds on either wall? yeah…. das where u climb
post-dyno, guarantee I had just yelled “THANK FUCK” as soon as my hand touched that beautiful beautiful jug
This fucker. I don’t even know what to say. You just did two techy boulder problems. Surely, you say to yourself, surely by now the worst is over. Hoooooo buddy you have no idea. You are in the corner. It feels safe. Like the nice wall is giving you a big hug. “Look how wavy I am” the rock says to you “look how safe.” And you smile. Like the FOOL you are. And then you see a small hold by your knee. You step on it. IDIOT. Then there’s a small indent in the rock for your palm. You push up off of it. IMBECILE. You realize you can put your left foot on the other wall of the corner, and oh look there’s a nice chip just where you need it to be to step a little higher with the right. And now, only now do you realize your hubris. But there is no turning back. You take your right foot off the wall, and you realize there’s NOTHING. Eyes wide in terror, you put your foot on the flat rock, and you think “ok, we’re just going to pretend there’s a hold there.” And you step up, wondering why anyone would climb anything ever. Same shit with the left foot. Nothing. Pretend. Step. Part of your soul dies with every leap of faith. You’re so stressed that when you see the credit-card-thick crimps for your hands, you’re ecstatic. Joy doesn’t last long as you see you’re only halfway up, and those are the only holds you get. Some fucking how, you press and twist and squeeze and poop your pants enough to make it up to a shallow horizontal crack, juuuust wide enough in a couple spots for you to squeeze the tip of your fingers into. “Almost there” you think, because you’re a stupid idiot dumb-dumb who doesn’t learn. You move right, along the crack, away from the corner, moving both feet off any chips and onto blank wall. And you look up. And the wall laughs at you, as you see that the jug marking the end of the nightmare, is a fucking full arms reach away.
So to recap, you’re mentally exhausted from stressin on this piece of shit beautiful impeccable slab. You’re physically exhausted from being three quarters up a climb. You’re on two bad crimps with your hands, fingers aching because you’ve been on these holds too long already. Feet *literally* smearing against nothing but blank wall. And you have to somehow JUMP up a FULL ARM up to get the jug. But you’re so fed up with this bullshit, that you think “ugggghhhh what the hell!!!!!1 fuck! this!” and you just fuckin dyno. Feet off, hands up, clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose. And by some act of GOD you stick the jug. You did it pal, you did it. You pull up to the ledge, move up some more jugs to stand on a final nice ledge and you can see the anchor a couple of feet away. You think you’re home free. Because. You’re. A. Stupid. Idiot. Poopy pants. Who. Never. Learns.
Bonus Part 4: Where The Hell Is The Stupid Anchor I’m Done Climbing Just Fucking Get Me Down From Here Please
pic of the full climb from mountainproject
So you see the top part of the climb? At the end of the wavy slab, you can get up to that ledge jutting out to the right. There is an anchor there. But is that your climb’s anchor? Not a chance, you silly buffoon. Look up. See that big flat triangle at the very top of the wall? Where that high tree is? THAT, you god damn monkey brain, is where your anchor is, a super mario triple jump away from you. So with a dark sadness in your heart of hearts, you climb behind the triangle, and you do a stupid mantle over the stupid triangle and lie on your stupid stomach on it. Then you have to get the stupid rope around the stupid rock so you don’t stupid die if you fall. And then you clip the stupid anchor and think “I will never do this stupid stupid ever again in my entire life.” And then you turn around to yell for a lower. And you see this.
And you think “…. God damn it. Yeah. Of course I’ll be back.”
(That’s a real picture from the last time I climbed it in 2020! No filter, no nothing it really looked this magnificent. And having worked through all those moves to get up here? Indescribably joy. It’s my absolute favorite view in the world from my absolute favorite climb.)
I spent the weekend snowboarding at Stowe mountain in Vermont. It was probably the last big trip of my first season riding, and I spent the drive back to the city staring at the stars, thinkin about nature and gnar. And then I realized I’m ALWAYS thinkin about nature and gnar, but I haven’t quite figured out how to share my stoke with other people. Like people think they know that “I’m stoked” but like, I’m SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOOKKKKKKEEEEEEDDDDDDD you know? No you don’t! That’s what I’m saying! Probably because I just said “stoked” in a different color instead of actually explaining, but that’s how bad I am at talking about it, so maybe I’m better at writing? We’ll find out ok post 1 ready set go we now walk into the gnar
(get it its a path bc we are walking into the gnar)
I guess first off what is the gnar? According to google its short for gnarly, so when I think gnar I think of the raddest, bad ass-est, most beautiful lines and routes and trails I’ve been on. I think snowboarding in knee-deep powder in Stowe, weaving between trees so dense you brush against the bark, every turn a close call. I think stemming on Flying Hawaiian in Rumney, pressing into a corner so smooth there’s nothing to keep you on the featureless rock other than friction and psych. There’s definitely adrenaline involved, but it’s about more than chasing thrills. It’s chasing moments where you are so focused, so driven, so excited that everything else melts away from your attention. Moments where you give yourself permission to care about nothing except doing what you’re doing. I can’t even describe how present I feel in those moments. This is in especially stark constant to my “normal life” now, a year into the pandemic and many months into the worst depression I’ve ever experienced. It’s hard to remember and harder to hold onto the joy I felt in those moments. I have been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation, and I am seeing a therapist which has helped, but in all honesty it’s the memories of past- and the hopes for future- outdoor adventures that are keeping me going. And it has felt weird and isolating to not know how to share that.
LOOK AT THIS. THE TREES. THE SKY. THE MOUNTAINS.
If you are not an outdoor sports person, I know how melodramatic and weird and maybe even unhealthy this might sound. I don’t know if there’s any way to bridge that gap in lived experience, because when I talk to some friends it feels like we are living in two completely different worlds. And I guess in a lot of ways we are. But as a last ditch effort to maybe not alienate all my friends after just the first post: think of the sickest insta video you’ve seen. Like a snowboarder or skier doing a backflip over a dropoff and making it look so effortless (it is not). But picture yourself there. Like, you’re there you’re IN IT and you’re DOING IT. And the stakes are high you know? Like it’s no joke, what you do and how you do it actually matters because your safety is riding on it. But you trust yourself and you crush it, and for just a little bit, you’re the one single person having the absolute most fun in the entire world for it. It’s an incredible feeling. It is life-changing to experience, and it! is! out! there! For you! Waiting! We just have to fucking reach out and do it (in a sustainable, inclusive, Earth-centered and community-centered way). If that made any sense, that’s what I’m hoping this blog will be about.
We are so lucky to have this. It’s a tragedy that outdoor access is often unsustainable (bulldozing trees, energy to run lifts, beer cans littering the slopes, etc…) More on that in another post.
This is getting mad long for a first post that isn’t even really about anything. So therefore thusly and in conclusion I am writing this blog to stay sane and explain to my people how I feel without sounding completely crazy, and if black diamond decides to sponsor me or outside magazine decides to give me a job so that I can do what I love without having to grind myself into the ground for a phd I don’t even know if I want but kinda have to get so I can keep from getting deported and literally rotting away in Lebanon… Well that would be nice too. Anyway here is a video of me snowboarding at Mount Snow a couple of weeks ago (UGH look at how BEAUTIFUL nature is) hopefully my next post will be more about Jad sending the gnar and less about Jad moping about wanting to send the gnar.
Into The Gnar 