I’m sick and at home and homesick for ze rocks, so I thought I’d write about my proudest trad follow to date (instead of spending more time webmding if i need a tonsillectomy?? ps if anyone is a throat doc hit me up). I don’t think I have any good pics of carbs and caffeine but here’s a pic of eric on the dangler from earlier that same day, similar vibes.
But so yeah every time I tell anyone I lead trad (and then explain what that means) I get the same response “wow that’s so [sick / stupid] don’t you get scared??” and I’m not a big stupid baby so of course I’m not scared but in a much more real sense I am veryyy a big stupid baby yes of course I get scared. And this was one of the spookiest rides I’ve been on so buckle up.
Carbs and caf starts with a 5.9 slab pitch that I’ll admit I was a little cocky leading, and the crux put me in my place no problem. Halfway up the climb I reach a blank section a couple feet above my last cam, and an arm’s reach from a thin vertical crack above me; the only next hand holds and the only spot to put another piece in. So my options are make the big reach to the crack with no protection, or throw a cam in it without really being able to see. Not ideal however you slice it. But I’m getting spooked and not in the mood for a whipper before I have to follow my first gunks 5.11, so I grab a cam that looks about the right size, reach up to the crack and pray my feet don’t slip before I put it in. Fully stretched on my tippy toes, I wedge a finger in the crack to feel out a good spot, think/hope/pretend it’s a decent placement, and stick the cam in it (I think it was a blue or black totem, whichever is smaller, which inspires confidence).
Side note I’m listening to florence and the machine while writing this and damn she has the BOPS. Seriously check out her tiny desk concert she’s magic.
Ok are you ready for this as soon as I clip my rope in and try to make the next move up I realize I PUT THE DUMB CAM WHERE I NEED MY DUMB HAND TO BE. So I try to reach higher but it feels bad, so Eric is like “you got this jad move your feet” which is good advice that I follow in the worst way I could think of. And somehow I end up almost horizontal, on worse foot holds than before, and further away from the crack??? By the time I realized I done goofed I was already falling. I had absolutely no faith in the blind placement above me, I fully expected it to pop out, but the one below was bomber so I wasn’t too spooked. But you know what? IT HELD BABYYY. The rope caught me and I looked up and thought “what the fuck that actually worked???” which got a few laughs from the people watching below. I do it all for the fans. But seriously thank god for totems I could kiss every engineer in that company if I could.
So that was my first real trad fall! Not too bad right? It gets worse lol. So I get up the first pitch and belay Eric up, then he gets ready to lead the 11a pitch. And after that fall I’m feeling…. less confident. But then I watched him cruuuuuiiiiisseee up it and I was like 😮 me too me too me too
He basically sends it, rumor may have it that he maybe slipped post-crux but in my perception of reality he sends. I lower him to the ground and then it’s my turn to get on it. And yall. I fuckin CRUSHED it. UNTIL I get to the last move before the anchors, and I spend an HOUR fighting with this cam trying to get it out. Let me paint you a picture: I’m already clipped into the anchor, I already fought for the top and made it, I’m hanging off a horizontal ledge with a crimp on my right hand and a heel hooked left foot. I’m pumped out of my mind, and only making worse when I keep having to lock off and fight this stupid little cam. And I mean FIGHT. That lil critter would! not! budge! I was pushing! I was pulling! I was yanking and yoking and scratching and yelling (should i turn this into a dr seuss book??)
So IMAGINE how i felt when a literal hour later, I asked to get lowered down, in utter defeat and more forearm pain than I ever thought possible, only for Eric to inform me that the damn cam WAS ALREADY THERE BEFORE US. Apparently it’s been stuck there for a hot minute, months if not years. I felt a little better about not getting it out and a lot worse for wasting so much time there, but at least it was a good workout and a good story.
Anyway I’m gonna go google if I can give myself a tonsillectomy just to avoid the US healthcare system wish me luck!
Into The Gnar 